


Untitled

by buttaerfly



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: After the events of Winter Soldier but pretty sure you all fucking know that already, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, But doesn't want one, Flashbacks, Hydra, I'm bad at writing, M/M, My first thing on AO3, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steve is bad at remembering stuff, Steve is tired and inattentive, This is so fucking OOC and I don't even care anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-08 14:25:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5500634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttaerfly/pseuds/buttaerfly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the prompt "If someone in your otp started crying how fast would the other one comfort them?" from some otp questions thing on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

When Steve comes home that day, after hours of planning out the Avengers next mission, he is too exhausted to notice the silence that blankets his shared apartment with Bucky. Too exhausted to note his boyfriend wasn't there to greet him with a smiling face like he almost always would. He shrugs it off and shakes out of his work clothing, padding off to the kitchen to make a quick snack. Steve ops for an energy bar that he hasn't even started on before he flops his tired body onto the couch. He feels a tough mound below his body, but dismisses it as one of the throw pillows Bucky insisted upon adding. He drifts off to sleep without trying to investigate the suspicious thing.

This mysterious mound turns out to be Bucky, his body pressed between Steve's heavy body and the leather couch. He opens his mouth to say something, but he notes how tired Steve sounded earlier, so he wouldn't wake him. He payed there. There was no one to talk to, so he was alone with his thoughts. He thought about what time it was, how hot he currently was, how to escape from under Steve without waking him- before his thoughts took a turn for the worst. Steve didn't even notice how quiet he was. Was it because he didn't care? No, he was just tired and stressed. Steve told him all about it last night, how they were planning and everyone was in a terrible mood and nothing got accomplished. Steve didn't even notice that Bucky was on the couch. "He's just tired. He's just tired." Bucky repeated to himself, trying to calm himself down while tears pricked at the corner of his eyes. What was he even crying about? He was emotional over nothing, thinking his boyfriend didn't care about him. He told him almost every day about how much he loved him, how much he cared about him. He wouldn't have taken him in after the whole Hydra debacle if he didn't care, right? Bucky drew a long, deep breath through his mouth, and blew it out through his nose, a calming tactic a therapist had once recommended him try when he felt under enormous stress- but right now, it wasn't working. Maybe he wasn't doing it right? Bucky started again, breathing in for four counts through his mouth, and out for eight through his nose. He was growing frustrated; frustrated with himself for crying, frustrated at his fucking brain for getting him so wound up and emotional, and, possibly, angry at Steve. His tears flowed down the side of his face into his ears, and snot dripped out of his nose. Wiping it would mean brushing his hand against Steve's chest, which might wake him from his much needed sleep, so Bucky opted not to. He layer there, looking at the ceiling, trying so hard to collect himself and stop pitying himself. It felt like hours, and the tears still came and the thoughts turned bleaker and bleaker. He was pondering the most effective way to commit suicide so that no one would know, every possible way he knew of, and that thought, triggered something inside of him. He let out a retched sob as his brain forced his memories of being tortured blank in from of him. His brain forced the image of bleeding bodies and he just had to take it. He screwed his eyes shut and drew his knees up to his chin, almost throwing Steve off of him. 

The blonde awoke on the floor, which was not were he last remembered being. But then it hit him- vivid, loud sobs coming from just above him. He hated to admit that he knew the sound all too well, Bucky was having flashbacks again. They had gone through the drill have what to do before with Bucky's therapist, how to react, what to do. This plan of action had never been implemented so now Steve was frozen, his tired brain trying to recall what to do. Don't touch his metal arm, because that's what Hydra did. And don't get frustrated- or show that you're frustrated with him- because that would... make him feel bad? Or was that something that Hyrdra did as well? He couldn't recall all of the do's and don't's, he couldn't remember what might potentially trigger him and make the situation worse than it already was. He formulated a plan; to talk to him, to remind him that he's safe, that hydra doesn't exist anymore, and to hug him and show him affection. 

He stood in front of the true,bling form in the couch, now quietly crying compared to what had happened earlier. "Buddy? Hey Bucky. Look at me, man." Steve cooed softly, shaking the brunette softly. His eyes flicked up almost instantly, bloodshot and puffy. He didn't speak, only looked. "You're safe now, okay? No ones coming to get you." The blonde went to dry one of the falling tears, before he could touch him, Bucky flinched, breathing suddenly heavy. "Easy now, I'm not going to hurt you,mill never hurt you." He brought his hand back to his lap. Steve felt like he was talking to a puppy right after it'd been kicked, though he hadn't done the kicking but he'd have to live with the aftermath. 

"Can you speak now?" A hoarse yes came from the brunette, who was still a little off after what had happened previously. Steve was trying to comfort him, telling him he was safe, that no one was going to hurt him, that Hydra didn't exist anymore and he had nothing to worry about. The last part was a lie, Hydra was still around, but Bucky didn't question it. "What set this whole thing off?" He was asking a genuine question, yet it rubbed Bucky the wrong way. His mental break down was being dismissed as merely a 'thing.' 

"I don't know." He wanted to end it, to get on with everything. He wanted Steve do go back to sleep and forget about it.

**Author's Note:**

> \- The answer from the question is: Not fast. Steve is bad with handling emotional breakdowns and Bucky just doesn't want Steve to worry about it, and he doesn't worry about it either. Whatever. I read my tags in the Honest Trailers voice and I laughed. lol. 
> 
> \- Who need prewriting and drafting when you can pump it out all in one shot??? I should not be allowed to write.
> 
> \- No one ever comforts me when I get all triggered and emotional and shit so idk how this works let's hope I did it right.


End file.
